Cognitive reframing is the practice of actively changing your perspective on what something “means” to you while an emotional cue is present.
For this to work, you change how you view rejection and failure. Instead of seeing an emotionally triggered event as negative, reframe the way you perceive the event and the resulting emotion.
Think of your mind like a record. It has a specific pattern burned into it. But if you scratch something over the surface enough times, it will cease to play the original tune.
This is exactly how cognitive reframing works.
Exercise:
Go back to your answer for exercise 1 – the root of your fear.
I want you to remember this event again, in vivid detail. For every negative thought that arises about rejection or failure, challenge and replace it with a positive or neutral thought.
For example, if you think, “I failed and everyone judged me,” reframe it to, “This gave me a chance to learn and improve for next time.”
The more you change how you perceive the event and use creative visualization to alter the scenario, the less power it has over you.
Write your old thought down and beneath it, replace it with a new empowering thought.
Be sure to journal how this made you feel.